Fascinated by the Famous: A Thank You

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Dearly Famous,

“We are gathered here today…” (no I’m kidding) – the following soulful masterpiece of my blogtopia is dedicated to you. The above entitled truly is a thank you – it is not sarcasm.  I am not giving you a criticism. I am truly showing you gratitude.

This entry is written to you straight from the heart of a middle class southern nerd – I have been bullied, cried many hours, over anything from my goofy hair, to my braces, to acne …. Many days I sat scared and hopeless – approaching the mirror with a procrastinating trot, a fearful glance, “do I still look the same?”.

My entire life I’ve been plagued by this inner monster that has held me back. I confess I have an impediment of my personal strength and wish to no longer remain silent: I have never felt pretty on the outside – and I have somewhat yet not always felt beautiful on the inside but was never really talented or creative enough to get people to understand that (or at least, I never gave myself credit for it – enter in my favorite word in the dictionary besides hope and faith: esteem).

The worst of this haunting is not only is it that I suffer with now even at the age of 34 – it is that I know I am not alone.

So why, in professing this dreary ghost to you, am I thanking you – the famous?

Because I’ll bet, that each and every one of you, at one point in your lifetime – if not even now – suffer with these same inner demons. Maybe it’s when you were young, or went through a life changing event, maybe it’s when you made your first movie, your first song, your first public speech.

I am grateful for you. You in your entirety despite personal flaws that weigh a person down (your energy level is low, you feel like crying, you would really just rather be alone) – you go into the spotlight. You face the press. Your entire life drama, if any, suddenly becomes the center of speculation for millions of people who are watching – waiting for you to make a mistake.

I have always wished that the public would keep their noses out of your business. I had wished they were more thankful for the movies you make, the shows you act in, the songs you write – or whatever you practice that makes you famous.

Aren’t we living in a social media world where we can watch anything and everything online? Where we can finally send fan mail but in a speed of seconds – over Twitter. We sit in silence behind our computer or television screens (at least us Twitter users do) and wait and see: will I get a retweet? Will I get a reply? Can I just get a “favorite”?

Because we love what you do – we would not have entertainment, leadership, or anything of that matter to associate ourselves with if people did not embrace whatever talents they have: and become famous.

(If you are reading this at the movie theatre – do not roll your eyes – you would not be there enjoying yourself and a little day out and a bucket of overpriced popcorn without the actors and directors who made that movie you’re watching, so settle down)

I wish I did not feel so immature in doing this – but yes, I do write fan mail still sometimes (albeit 140 characters or less) to those that really inspire me to make a difference – and to those, with their persistent dedication to their own success and beings, impact my life in telling me to take it a step further: NEVER BE AFRAID.

I wonder how many of you have ever been afraid of something – after all, you are human (right? I have only met two of you REALLY famous people in my lifetime – each of you seemed human to me with your common courtesy to shake my hand, smile, and give me an autograph)…

Once again, I express my deepest of appreciation that you continue to serve your fans, the general public, whatever we shall name those that are not, by definition, famous, – you continue to work even when you are at your worst, when you honestly are having the worst day and you want everyone to go away (and for all sake of decency – to stop putting a camera in your face at Starbucks).

I’m guilty. I admit it. I’m guilty of people watching on the street to see if I can get a glimpse of one of you – I tweet you on a regular basis (only my favorites of course, it is fun, as an adult, to have this outlet that reminds you in a way of hand writing a letter and waiting weeks upon weeks – running to the mailbox wondering if I got an autograph or a response)…

Why the fascination?

I am fascinated by your fervor to withstand negativity, to compound it, and to make your mark on the world through even the toughest hardships. Granted, I speak myself like you are perfect – or as if you are in a higher class than myself or any other person – none of you are. I apologize if this sounds a bit harsh but who is? Not everybody who fits the bill of famous is a  person that is famous for a positive reason  (oops, a criticism, so I lied at the beginning of this post, but at least I’m admitting it, no?) – but I see you and learn from how you deal personally with so many different aspects of life at one time.

Yes, I know some of you get paid millions – it’s your job, yay for recognition and cash, right?

I see this differently. I see a person who could very well have walked in my nerdy, bullied shoes and has come out with a fan base of millions. I, from the depths of my heart, do not ever think I could deal with that kind of attention. My followers and friends would be surprised, after all I’ve revealed recently, how private of a person I really am.

No really – stop laughing – I am. I rarely allow visitors into my home. I stay in my pajamas most of the time. The peril of going out to the grocery store and spending any energy I have that I wish I could spend on cleaning up toys or changing diapers, that in itself should show you: I am very protective of my abode – it’s hard making a public appearance for this very non-famous woman. My blog is not  created for the sake of famous attention – it’s created with the hopes it will touch people’s hearts – if even just one. I aim for inspiring – and any new follower, while it makes me happy, the gain is in the aspect of prayer that my faith will touch that person’s faith.

So thank you, famous people, to all whom have inspired me to try harder – to each of you that has put on a brave face during the most devastating of outcomes and have still come forth to make a difference in other lives while others watch.

Now don’t go all snark on me now – I realize that most of the most influential people in my life – are actually not technically famous people. They are family. They are friends. They have been there since the beginning – I won’t have to wait for a tweet or a reply: I can simply call or text and boom: contact made. Success.

So what makes a person famous? Should I have defined this in the beginning of the post (sleep deprivation talking – my apologies to those who made it this far)…

For certain I meant actors (my favorite is Matt Damon, brilliance, my friends, BRILLIANCE), singers (Adam Lambert is my favorite, SUPERBNESS, my loves, SUPERBNESS) … (Ever watched my favorite show Ghost Adventures? Zak Bagans is honestly so intelligent and talented – REALNESS) anyone you see in front of you that works their behinds off doing what they love – and giving us something to hold onto (for all purposes, this includes writers, speakers, blah blah … I need not go on)….

But this is not all I meant.

To all famous people – I do thank you – I am so gracious to bear witness to your undying love of your profession and how you continue to bring that talent into my world …

For all of those who have ever felt even an ounce of what I have – feeling ugly, horrid, indifferent to the world, hopeless, worthless, uncreative, not talented (so sorry for everyone that had to hear me sing Ol’ Susanna at the 4th grade talent show) … but you have decided to step forward in your life, admit, learn, and inspire: guess what, you have become famous.

To yourself.

And THAT is most important.

So thank you all – because each and every one of you is different and diverse, many different pathways met, gone, and crossed, and each of you has a quality I admire, respect, and desire: and that is how I have become famous to my heart  is by inviting such intriguing views, needs, and thoughts from so many different people – into my world – and by making the most of those ghastly emotions, that one single pimple on the edge of my nose, that moment when I just break down and cry: I just don’t let it stop me anymore.

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Never forget that.

Yours truly, and living famously,

Jenn (pictured below for everyone to see who is writing this – in case you haven’t clicked the About page) 🙂

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Edited to include a shout out to the Daily Prompt for Jaunuary 13, 2014. The Golden Globes were last night and I could have totally used this as my current event – but I had writers block and went elsewhere with the idea. I wish I had written this today not yesterday – but that’s the way writing is – or maybe I’m psychic. Who knows. If I could have applied any current event it would have been the Golden Globes because that’s what it’s full of – by definition – famous people (and Matt Damon was there!)

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